TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND  DIRTY, BUT AT THE OFFICE AREN'T:

10. I need to whip it out  by 5.

9. Mind  if I use  your laptop?

8. Just stick it in my  box.

7. If I have to lick one  more, I'll gag!

6. I want it on my desk,  NOW!!!!!

5. MMMMMMMMM, I think  it's out of fluid!

4. My  equipment is  so old, it takes forever to finish.

3. It's  an  entry-level position.

2. When do you think  you'll be  getting off today?

1. It's not  fair.  I do all the work while he just sit there!!!

TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN LAW AREN'T:

10. Have you looked through her briefs?

9. He is one hard judge!

8. Counselor, let's  do  it in chambers.

7. Her attorney withdrew  at the last  minute.

6. Is it a penal offense?

5. Better leave the handcuffs on.

4. For $200 an   hour, she better be good!

3. Can you get him to  drop his  suit?

2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.

1. Think you  can get me off?

TOP TEN THINGS  THAT SOUND DIRTY BUT IN GOLF AREN'T:

10. Damn, my  shaft is bent.

9. After 18  holes,  I can barely walk.

8. You really whacked the  hell  out of that sucker.

7. Look at the size of  his putter.

6. Keep your head down  and spread your legs a bit more.

5. Mind if I join your  threesome?

4. Stand with your back  turned and drop it.

3. My  hands are so  sweaty I can't get a good grip.

2. Nice  stroke, but  your follow-through leaves a lot to be desired.

1. Hold up! I  need to wash my balls first!